Experiencing a mid-life demo? It can feel completely overwhelming when you’ve been grooving through adulthood and suddenly the bottom falls out of some aspect of your life. Maybe your partner leaves, a parent passes away, or your job disappears. Now, what the hell are you going to do?
Like any remodeling project, the first step is to demo the remains of what was there so you can begin to envision what you want that aspect of your life to be. Demo might sound dramatic or even violent in the sense of evoking massive change but the act of demoing is essential because it gives you a clean slate to build and grow from. You do it mindfully and you plan for what you are going to do with all the rubble that will occur from this clearing. It’s the first step toward moving in a new direction.
When I went through a divorce and the loss of my mother to cancer in the same year, I had A LOT of garbage as the result of my life’s demo. It felt like I was swimming in it and honestly, it really stunk to be immersed in a sea of my own emotional trash. I did what one does at a job site when you’ve gutted a house so as to put it back together – you make piles of similar things to recycle, repurpose, and throw away. By organizing my mess, I could see value in all parts of it – the keepers and the stinkers.
This process of intentional regrouping I can’t emphasize enough. It also keeps the whole crew, be it your family or builder buddies, safe when the crap is compartmentalized. You simply can’t have garbage everywhere if you want to rebuild. It’s dangerous in fact because you can trip and fall into old mindsets, over boards, and into holes.
Once the rubble is removed to the appropriate places, that’s where the magic begins. You can see something new possible for yourself, for your vision.
For me, it was when I placed my ultimate dream of building my own house out into the Universe that I saw the power of manifesting a miracle out of the mess. Because I had freed myself from the weight of my demo, I could see, feel, and know what my heart really desired. I hadn’t experienced so much pain to now live a life of misery. I had gone through loss to give me perspective on what I truly valued. And in so, was brought to the front door of my truth. There she was, sitting there waving at me after my life’s big clean up saying, “Julia, go out and build your dream. Yes, you deserve to be happy!”
As you look around at your own trash, be it a big or small pile, ask yourself, “is it time to organize this mess so I can get down to the bottom of what my heart desires?” My guess is the answer is yes and I can’t wait to share more with you about how you can move from the “want” to actionable steps toward cleaning up, clearing out, and building a dream life.
