When people offer you a compliment, does it make you feel uncomfortable? I’m not talking about the yucky type of praise that’s bait, catcalling, or gratuitous. I’m referring to those heartfelt comments that genuinely intend to offer you recognition and joy.
I’ve wanted to share recent reviews of my book, Under Construction, for the past week, but I’ve kept making excuses why the timing wasn’t right. That people might think I was boasting. I feared that no one would give a rip.
So, what’s really beneath my avoidance to share praise about my story?
My guess is that you’ve heard of something called limiting beliefs. Those deeply seated familial and societal constructs that choke us from releasing our authentic selves into the world. These beliefs create a well-fortified castle around us and those thick walls prevent us from being seen or touched.
This inner fortress supports the notion that if we hide our unique gifts and voice, then there is less risk of being hurt; of being vulnerable out there in this crazy world.
“Get in line and be quiet.” Remember adults telling you that in school? I do and I tried to stay off the radar as much as possible in the classroom by not being called on, withholding my ideas, and by avoiding moments of being publicly heralded for my accomplishments. Keeping all of my magic locked up made sense in a place that had no room for curiosity and creativity. It was a survival tactic to keep safe in an unsafe environment. But it definitely took its toll on my ability to show up and play full-out as an adult.
By the time I was 30, I was fully besieged.
Let’s to go back in time to a movie called, Wayne’s World. There’s an iconic scene where Wayne and Garth, two self-deprecating rockers, fall to their knees before glam-metal guru, Alice Cooper, and chant, “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” Have you ever felt like that – not worthy of being in the company of greatness? Not worthy of demonstrating your own genius? How about just plain not worthy of worth itself?
Me too!
Years of acting unworthy and playing small diminished my feeling of “enoughness.” The walls I built to keep me from supposed harm, also kept me from supportive praise and celebration. I never allowed myself to receive the news that that I was enough. That I was worthy of love, support, accolades, and recognition.
You are too, no matter how long you’ve lived inside your castle. Your story is worth its weight in gold as is mine.
We are worthy! We are worthy!
Let’s help each other rise up into this incredible truth, hidden behind our doubts and fear. Each time we boldly share an aspect of our authentic, vulnerable, imperfect selves, we help lift someone else out of the lonely land of solitude and seclusion. We can give each other permission to shine in our brilliance.
Now, I’m going to post a review of Under Construction on my social media pages because I’m proud of my story and want to share examples of how it’s helping others to access healing and love after experiences of trauma. What aspect of your unique gift will you be sharing today? Know that I support you and don’t forget, you’re amazing!
